Taking Stock …

Posted: January 24, 2010 in Uncategorized

Monday, November 06, 2006
Thankful…
Current mood: thankful

This time of year I always try to take stock of my life and remember just what it is I have to be thankful for. Most of the time these days it’s not too hard. Sometimes, like this last week, I get overwhelmed and it gets lost in the shuffle.

Sometime in the early 80’s I spent several year with insomnia and some serious health stuff. Along the way I turned into a glass half empty girl for awhile. One day my astute, and mostly longsuffering husband said… “do you realize you just complained about the same thing 12 times today… I’ve been keeping track.” After getting over being annoyed at him for a) keeping track, and b) sharing that information with me, I stopped to think about it. I had been so overwhelmed with the tyranny of the urgent and the health stuff, that I had lost sight of all the good things in my life. I decided it was time for some serious attitude adjustment, so I decided to start by journaling not just the bad stuff going on, but in making lists of things I had to be thankful for. They were pretty funny at first. I managed to put a negative spin even on thankfulness… I’m thankful that I’m not dead… I think. I’m thankful that I’m only miserable and don’t have a deadly disease… yet that I know of… etc… Slowly but surely though practicing thankfulness as a lifestyle became easier. It also made the hard times easier when I stopped to realize how much go there was mixed in with it.

This week more than a few things came to mind to be thankful for.. these a just a few…

That I was born in a place where I’ve been able to live and thrive without having to struggle to find enough food or shelter, or struggle against the elements. We live in one of the most beautiful places in the world with an amazing climate.

I’m thankful that somehow, no matter what, we always manage to make ends meet and have some left to share with others.

That I am truly blessed to be able to do something I love for a living, have my own business, set my own schedule, and be able to work at home without having to commute anywhere. I have the opportunity to be a part of my student’s lives and my own life is much much richer for it. Somehow a steady stream of students always end up at my door.

I’m thankful to have an incredibly diverse group of people in my life on a regular basis. I have great friends, including some I’ve known for 35 years. They stimulate my heart, my soul, and my mind, they stir up my creativity. They remind me of what’s important in life. Many have become the family that I never knew. And some have modeled for me what it looks and feels like to be loved and cared for by God.

I’m thankful for the creative process and all that goes into it. I’m still amazed and how full of color and texture our world is. I’m thankful that someone figured out I couldn’t see so I could get glasses and begin to really see things without them just being a big blur. I’m thankful that I can pick up a variety of instruments and be able to express some things that I just can’t adequately communicate with words. Someone said “he who plays, prays twice.” That is very true to me.

I’m thankful for life itself. There were times when I could have easily died due to illness, or dangerous circumstances, or early on, at my own hand. I am so thankful that I’ve had that time… I’ve met the people I’ve known since then and had all the experiences I would have missed out on. I’ve lived 3 lifetimes already and have been had so many amazingly diverse experiences along the way.

I’m thankful for the healing and restoration that I know could only come from God. When I was young I was so angry and bitter and self destructive. I have damage in both wrists from pummeling walls and things like that. It was nothing for me to be enraged or to carve on myself. Now every time I use my hands to play an instrument, or to type something, or to do massage, or any of the other creative pursuits I have, I am reminded of what a miracle that is. And even though I have a long way to go, I am so thankful that I’m so much more whole emotionally too. I can look someone in the eye and have a genuine conversation with them, even knowing the risk that I could be wounded. I can cry or laugh and express emotion freely. I can have someone touch me without jumping out of my skin. I can care deeply for someone. I’m thankful that my journey has been encouraging to others and a reminder that there’s hope for them too.

And on a personal note… if you care enough about me to be reading this… I am thankful for you too.

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